Hey, y'all!

Well!

I guess when I'm not being attacked by animals I just have nothing to say, huh? Ah, well. You should know that I'm still, yes STILL composing my 100 things list. I've spent about 2 hours on it, total, but those 2 hours have been dispersed in increments over the last month, so I get to call it a month long project. That's how that works. It's still not done yet, though. I guess that's okay because it seems that list fever has overtaken us of late and I'm sure you could do without learning 100 things about yet another blogger. So there.

You know, I don't like apple or watermelon flavored Jolly Ranchers. This revelation struck me recently, and I was nearly floored. I have been conditioned to believe that apple and watermelon were THE flavors of Jolly Ranchers, and all those other flavors are just there for aesthetic purposes. So ingrained was this belief that I'd never really considered the flavors on merit, they just WERE. So imagine my suprise when my candy dish was filled with Jolly Ranchers by some anonymous person (thanks, person!) this past week, and I gravitated toward the grape ones. Bypassed the watermelon, turned up my nose at the apple. Thought to myself that the flavors of the apple and watermelon were quite overwhelming to my palate, I'd much prefer the grape. For a bit of variety, I chose lemon or cherry. That's that goody, right there.


While having dinner with the most pretentious ugly man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing (Ugly people, as a rule, do not get to be pretentious. They just don't. Especially if they have dred bangs.), which coincided with having the best stuffed shrimp EVER (if there is no Cheddar's near you, crawl into a hole and expire, for your life is worthless, I swear.), anyway, while all this was going on, our very cute (but gay, ALAS!) waiter brought over two shots of tequila. He set one in front of me and TOOK the other. (Cheddars, I'm telling you.) Then I ordered one of his "special" margaritas. Wooohoooooooo! I loosened up. Just for future reference, remember this equation.

Niki(known to be tactless when sober, even)
+[<2 shots of 1800 x any frozen mixed mysery drink
+funny as hell gay waiter/bartender (aka enabler)
___________________________________________

One very pissed off "poet"


Then, at the end of the night, DW (drunk waiter) was trying to tell me I was very vivacious, but the tequila made it keep coming out "bibacious" until finally I realized that it didn't matter. At that moment, both were true. And then we laughed some more.