Didja want to know about me?

100 of Those Things About Me that I’m Willing to Release to the Internet

1. I’m 25 years old, but I feel and act much older lots of times. People are often surprised at my age. I’m told that I’m a sixty year old biddy trapped in a young woman’s body.
2. My answer to that is…meh. Pass me my needlepoint.
3. I took up needlepoint one weekend instead of going to the Dr. Pepper museum. Seriously. We had been planning for a week to go to the museum, then on Saturday I was like “You know what’d be fun? Needlepoint. That’d be great.” And the Spawn was all like “smh.” And D was all like “YEAH!” (and that, folks, is why I keep her around.)
4. Then, because we didn’t want to ruin the historic value of the weekend, we told ourselves that what we were truly doing was carrying on a nearly lost art form that dates back thousands of years before Dr. Pepper. Or so we imagined. And we were right. Did you read number 17?
5. I’ve gone back and moved things, and I realize that it is highly unlikely that you’d have read #17 by #4. I’m going to leave it there anyway.
6. Oh, yeah. I have a little girl. I think she’s rather cute. She tends to agree.
7. My sister is trying to brainwash her into pledging AKA when she goes to college.
8. Make that my sister, all of her friends and two of mine. Did I mention that my sister HAS a daughter of her own to brainwash?
9. I have a Shih-Tzu. He’s spoiled unbelievably rotten. That’s a trait of his species (Shih-Tzus, not males. Although…heh.), and I wish I’d believed it when Pedigree warned me of that.
10. He owns a tux. And a top hat. He sure does look snazzy in them.
11. Despite the aforementioned, I am not one of those dog people.
12. There are a few people who owe me their first born children. They can keep them; I have all the kids I want.
13. I am totally the kind of girl who’ll spend an idyllic evening with cheese, wine, my fondue pot and old Audrey Hepburn movie on DVD.
14. I am totally the kind of girl who’ll spend an idyllic evening with hot wings, some Kool-Aid, my boys, a Spades tournament, and an Earth, Wind, and Fire compilation on CD.
15. My dog is named after a revolutionary.
16. His hair will dread if I let it. Sometimes I let it. Shut up! It’s SO cute.
17. My daughter’s name is a variation of a French one, but even with the addition it has a French translation. I didn’t know that when I named her.
18. I obsessively research things, down to the most mundane detail.
19. I know the five recurrent themes of Macbeth by heart. (Try as I might to forget.)
20. Blood, night, water, fear, and restlessness, if you were wondering.
21. You probably weren’t.
22. 20 and 21 weren’t about me; but let’s pretend they were.
23. I have anal tendencies.
24. I’m not a neat freak, but I like my things to stay where I put them. (Like, I know there was a safety pin was next to this rubber band in the medicine cabinet. Who moved it? If I’d wanted it in the sewing box with the others, that’s where I would’ve PUT it!!)
25. Ask me for anything in my parent’s house, and I can direct you to it. Precisely. Down to the direction it is facing and neighboring objects. Anything. From memory. From right where I sit, 180 miles away. Paper clip? Phone cord? Kleenex? That glitter card the Spawn made in Kindergarten? Check, check, check, and depends upon the season. Are you getting an idea of exactly how anal these people are? I know from anal. I am not anal.
26. I wuv they.
27. I’ve grown bored with this list and will return to it tomorrow with a fresh perspective. (Yep, it’s two days later. Nothing yet. Gimme another day.)
28. Okay, I’m back.
29. I love The Color Purple. No, really. I love it like your granny loves cheesecake. Like, if they ever made a Color Purple Trivial Pursuit, you are toast. Guaranteed.
30. Wait. Have they made a Color Purple Trivial Pursuit? Because if they have, can you please let me know? Immediately? Because I will gladly spend the next two month’s lunch money for its purchase, and then I will love it and hold it and squeeze it forever and ever. Thx.
31. Besides The Color Purple (because it is in a class by itself), my favorite movies are…um…Rosewood, Mommie Dearest, Arsenic and Old Lace, Man in the Iron Mask, and Coming to America. So far. [Ed. Note: and Man on Fire, and Set it Off.] I like movies.
32. I hated both Napoleon Dynamite and The Royal Tenenbaums. I’m sure it’s for the same reason, although I haven’t quite put my finger on it.
33. Every time I watch Coming to America, I work “That’ll be eight dolla’s” into as many conversations as possible for the next week or so. It cracks me up and I don’t know why.
34. I love French fries, but I hate the pointy ones. I think everybody hates the pointy ones, they just don’t notice. But the next time you get some fries, notice which ones you pick first. Once those are gone, look at what’s left. Uh-huh. Thought so.
35. Pointy French fries suck for real. They scratch my gums like Popeye’s chicken skin.
36. I love my IM buddy list (?). It is there that I turn for advice, a laugh, or a listening ear. It very often makes my day.
37. I refer to IM conversations as if they were phone conversations. I’ve tried to break myself of the habit, but it hasn’t worked. I don’t know why.
38. I refuse to spell sexy with 2 x’s.
39. I think it’s unfortunate that there are people named Dorcas.
40. I read To Kill a Mockingbird just about every year, although I typically hate to reread books. Please do not debate the merits of Harper Lee or her unquestionable masterpiece with me. I get far too emotional.
41. When I find a new site I really like, I sit down and read all of the archives. Daily, if necessary.
42. I use the words wait, really, and seriously way too much. I almost typed both really and seriously behind that statement; I had to catch myself.
43. I was a debutante.
44. I am the least likely debutante you’ll ever meet. (That may be a slight exaggeration, but not much.)
45. I think Michael Jackson should be committed.
46. Scratch that. He should’ve been committed just after Bad.
47. I went to approximately 23 schools over the course of my primary and secondary education.
48. I am still discovering behavioral quirks that can be traced to that instability.
49. I prefer a standard shift automobile.
50. I hate cruise control.
51. I love trail mix.
52. I don’t think I’ll live in the U.S. my whole life.
53. I can do weird things with my toes like throw stuff and strum them all together as if I’m in deep thought. (cracks me up)
54. I am addicted to Noggin.
55. I just might cry at the final episode of RFR.
56. I am aware that 97% of you have no idea what the last two were about.
57. I have two hermit crabs.
58. I love blue.
59. My mother just might be insane.
60. I quit perming my hair in September of 2004.
61. My hair grows faster than I knew.
62. I learned to shoot (a gun, not a basket. I still can’t do that) at 7 years old.
63. I like to say the word svelte.
64. I am currently grieving a very great loss that I try not to think about.
65. I have gotten very good at seeming perfectly fine when in truth I’m quite the opposite.
66. I should right a book about the year I was fifteen. It would probably be a bestselling gritty teen drama.
67. I don’t think I’ve ever watched one episode of NYPD Blue, but whenever I hear the words “grit” and “drama” used together, that’s what I think of.
68. I was sorely ticked off at what they did to New York Undercover.
69. I used to have the biggest crush on Kirk Cameron.
70. It was second only to the one I later developed on Tevin Campbell.
71. Once, TC was at the McDonald’s near my house doing promo.
72. My best friend and I heard this and devised an elaborate plan to sneak up behind him and cut his hair. No, really. We practiced and everything. (I hated his new long hairstyle. Men should not have hairstyles.)
73. We were sorely disappointed when traffic was so backed up that we never got within a block of him.
74. I prefer biographies to fiction.
75. I have not since becoming an adult referred to anyone as “my boyfriend.”
76. I like to fight for the little guy, I should be an ombudsman.
77. (I don’t particularly care for lawyers, the legal system, or lawyers.)
78. I never went to senior prom.
79. I just laughed entirely too hard at an article about mating ducks.
80. I just asked somebody else to finish this list for me, because that’d be funny. And because I am lazy.
81. Still awaiting his reply…
82. “umm...no” was his reply to my very politely worded request.
83. Maybe my IM buddies are not the gems I’ve said they are.
84. I am taking applications for new IM buddies.
85. Atheists annoy me.
86. People who refer to God as a woman cause me to look at them crossways and squinty eyed.
87. I hate bold color on my nails or lips. Usually I’m wearing clear polish and gloss.
88. I collect albums.
89. I love old music, from baroque to Motown.
90. I don’t work well with others.
91. Stupid people annoy me.
92. I don’t believe stupidity has anything to do with intelligence.
93. Some people think that I try to force “deep” conversations. The truth is, I just suck at small talk. I badly suck at small talk.
94. Casinos bore me to tears. I might like Vegas, but I’d be going for the shows and cheap steak.
95. Not really. I don’t much care for steak. I love seafood, though.
96. I don’t understand people who are apathetic about seafood. Hate it, okay…maybe it’s an acquired taste. But to just be all...meh? I don’t get it.
97. I don’t think peeves make very good pets, but many things consistently get me steamed.
98. I love to laugh, but have a strange sense of humor. It’s dry at times, silly at others, and can be a little bit crude. (Y’all. That mating duck article? HILARIOUS)
99. Materialism annoys me. I’m of the belief that I only need enough fashion to keep cute. Cute and comfortable, with emphasis on the latter.
100. If my life were an 80’s movie, I’d pick the best friend over the quarterback every time. Just not a flashy guy kinda girl.



I’m done. This took about 2 months to complete. I’ve done about 20 revisions. Finally, here it is. Hope you enjoyed it.