No words

Ok, this is a somewhat serious post. A lot of really messed up crap has been happening to my fellow bloggers lately, and they might have noticed the absence of my name among the list of well wishers. For that, I feel I owe an explanation. You see, it's not that I am a cold and heartless git that can not empathize with your situation. If anything, it's that I empathize too much. I do this both online and offline acquaintances...and friends...and family.

You see, sometimes there is just nothing I can say. I hate, loathe, detest, and any other verb that expresses extreme distaste...platitudes. (And sometimes Beatitudes...but that's another post.) Seriously. When someone is going through an extreme emotional upheaval, do you really think that hearing yet another dozen people say "my thoughts are with you and your family" or any other of the trite and meaningless phrases that we've trained ourselves to say. Yes, people come back and say thanks for all the "warm wishes" and such, but that's just being polite. You have to ask yourself how much it really helped. I mean, if someone has just lost or is in the process of losing a loved one, do you really think they need your permission to grieve? "Just let it out..." "It's important that you start the grieving process..." No, it's important that you hop your happy behind up out of my face (yes, I said up out) and be about your merry way before I board the express train to stage two and give all these lovely grievers one more tragedy to cry about. And the absolute worst one..."I'll pray for you." I swear, let me just tell you right now. If you ever hear about some horrible tragedy that has befallen me, that is just about the worst thing to say to me. I truly believe that the people that really trust in prayer would spend time actually praying rather than informing me of their intent to do so. More succinctly, I think that those inclined to pray would have done so already... half of the people that go around saying that never give another thought to the situation they declared they'd pray about. It's just another way to end the conversation. But again, that's another post.

This post is about me and why you might not hear from me in the event of a tragedy. Plainly stated, I have no words. I'd prefer to keep silent than to stream out another of those senseless banalities designed more for the comfort of the speaker than the spoken to. I also hate cards, so I probably won't be sending one of those, either. Especially one of those beautifully scripted yet bland Hallmark cards that proclaim in silver italics, "Our Deepest Sympathy" on the front.
Because really. Is it your deepest sympathy? I mean, until today I was just the girl that made your copies. I'd doubt that somehow between the hours of 5pm yesterday and 8 this morning that I've managed to ingrain myself in your heart. But that's just me.

My response to a tragedy is somewhat different. When there are no words, I don't force any. More than likely, I'll just send a blank card, with my number at the bottom. So, internet, if you know that I read your site and you are going through something awful, don't think I don't care. Because I do. This goes out to all of you...I care, and I'm here if you need me. That's all I can say, because sometimes there just aren't words.